The article title (above) didn’t seem to match the picture: a woman (late 20’s, early 30’s) in blue hair net, face marked with pen lines for plastic surgeon’s knife.  I looked closely at the newspaper—not a wrinkle in sight. 

As if women didn’t already have enough spending options, now it’s imperative to appear to family, friends and strangers alike that you’ve just graduated from high school--even if you’re 29.

Well, to avoid surgery for myself and therefore becoming a headline (“Woman splits face laughing at anti-aging article during post-cosmetic surgery recovery”), I came up with a few inexpensive and non-invasive ideas for younger-looking skin:

-no smiling or frowning

-beware of hot air blast when opening an oven to check food for doneness; always have someone else remove food item

-do not cry; this crinkles eyes and adds more salt to skin

-avoid birthdays; by admitting that you are not aging, you can actually add years to your skin

-avoid eating birthday cakes from a mix; they contain aging additives (Betty and Duncan are actually in cahoots with birthday card manufacturers.  Also, here is a little-known fact: Betty Crocker has never actually eaten any of her cake mixes—hence her youthful picture)

-do not go outside during extremely hot or cold temperatures

-do not have kids’ sleep-overs at your house

-do not have kids

-avoid any look of hopefulness (this quickly wrinkles forehead)

-do not stay up late: sewing a child’s outfit for a special event, baking (no one to help you with the oven), cooking, reading (may require laughing or crying), or any other last-minute activities; sleep at least 16 hrs. a day

Actually, why not hang on to those wrinkles for awhile—they can remind us of this hope: that we will someday trade this imperfect face and body for a glorious one like that of our Savior, when we live with Him forever.  Isn’t that surety worth more than a boatload of botox?

“For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ:

Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto His glorious body, according to the working whereby He is able even to subdue all things unto Himself.”

Phil.3:20, 21